My son’s frustration became more obvious as he tried to slam the bathroom vanity’s drawer shut. The overflowing contents prevented the drawer from closing. I thought he only wanted was a Band-Aid.
“Josh, can I help you?” I asked.
He blurted out, “Why can’t God show me the path He wants me to take? How do I know I’m doing what God wants me to?”
His question caught me off guard. His eyes reflected his hurt and frustration; it made my heart ache.
From very early on, Josh knew he wanted to be an Air Force pilot. His grades were great and his last year in school even included piloting. When he attempted to enlist, he was denied due to medical reasons. Through no fault of his own, Josh’s future goals were interrupted. It was tough, but eventually Joshua accepted this necessary change and began growing.
As his mom, I’ve watched Josh’s faith and belief in God increase by leaps and bounds. His participation in Royal Rangers whose “mission is to evangelize, equip and empower the next generation of Christ-like men and life-long servant leaders,” has led to leadership positions and great friendships with brothers in Christ.
Just a few months ago, Josh went on two mission trips-one to New Orleans during Mardi Gras and the other to help build a church in Albany, New York.
Why couldn’t he see what was so plain to me?
“Joshua, of course you’re doing what God wants! I’m so sorry you don’t see it.”
I continued, “Yes, God has closed some doors on the dreams you had for your future, but look what He has set before you! Maybe you won’t fly planes. But look and see! You’re being paid to work with a master carpenter who is teaching you how to build and renovate houses. Just think of how these skills may benefit people who need a home to live in! I see you helping a vast number of people with the skills you are being taught. You will be able to bless many!
You’re surrounding yourself with Godly friends. Worshipping and studying His Word. You are absolutely on the path He wants for your life. You proclaim Jesus Christ in all you do and you witness His faithfulness whenever you have opportunity.”
“But why doesn’t God show me what I’m supposed to do with my life? ” he asked.
I responded, “Because God gives us what we need for today. On a daily basis, God supplies what we need for the day, not what we need for tomorrow. We should trust Him knowing how deeply He loves us. All we’re supposed to do is to continue to move forward.”
After encouraging Josh, why don’t I listen to my own words?
Why don’t I listen to THE WORD?
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Confession time! I’ve been doing a lot of searching. Searching for what I want to do with my life, who I want to be when I grow up or if I even want to grow up. My heart-felt desire is to be on the path God has chosen for me.
My dilemma is I don’t exactly know what that path is. Should I intentionally pursue more active writing projects or speaking engagements? Am I supposed to go deeper into women’s ministry? What is my ministry? Should I be in ministry at all or become more involved in church activities?
All these questions continually bounce off the walls of my brain causing me angst and confusion.
Like Joshua, I want a glimpse of my “promised land,” a taste of what’s in store for my future years. Too many times I’ve gone down a path that wasn’t necessarily wrong, but it wasted a lot of time and energy with no obvious benefits.
All I can say is UGH!
What I should do is to PRAY!
I pray we are all able to clearly see the path God has chosen for us. I pray we are patient as we wait to hear His all on our lives. And I pray when He does show us our “promised land,” we are courageous enough to move forward in His call on our lives.